Lost

I’m lost in my mind right now

She is having stomach problems tonight so I took her to the hospital and possibility she could be pregnant

I feel so lost about this because I saw the text on her phone from a guy she was messing with recently asking is she misses his dick.

And the 3rd degree burn looking hickey from the other guy didn’t just happen while kissing, I’m not stupid.

She says she hadn’t done anything with anyone, but truth has not been something she has been good at lately.

So I’m worried cause if she is pregnant with someone else’s baby, and lied to me about doing that, that Is one thing I will not forgive, and will not be involved in raising another child that is not mine

She keeps wanting to protect him, but not me. She told him she forgave him even, forgave him for WHAT, for threatening my children, for treating me?

I’m tired of still being second in her heart after all this time, if he holds a spot in her heart then I want to give up mine, cause where were she in protecting me from what she did to me, or forgiving me instead of cheating.

I do love her, but that is the one thing I will draw the line at!

And I just don’t know how to feel right now 😞

Cause ever “angry” post towards him just shows me how she keep choosing him over me every time, and reaffirms her love for him not her hate.

But whatever, I’m use to being used till something better comes along