Thoughts

Thoughts won’t stop racing thru my head.

One minute I’m feeling depressed, the next I’m feeling determined on how to fix things.

But in reality there is nothing I can do, I have been offering to try to help.

But you feel this journey has to be done alone, when as a team we have over came so many obstacles in life.

I know I can help you, because for the last 6 years of our lives, I have been learning everything about you.

I have forgiven all of the heartache you have caused me, I have forgiven all the hurt you have caused me.

But I cannot forgive myself for not making you feel as important as you truly are to me.

but you need to forgive yourself for anything you have done to me, because I still count my life as a blessing just for having you in it.

I have been crying myself to sleep while praying we will find each other again.

All the while knowing you are close enough to touch, torturing myself feeling that you are still so far away.

I love you dear, and I don’t take that word lightly.

When I love you it means you have every part of my heart, intertwined into yours, and all you have to do is allow its unrestricted embrace.

You still are and will always be my Forever and Always.

And I still dream of marrying you, and how beautiful our wedding could be, with our baby boy bringing the rings up to us.

I am willing to wait for your love, but fear everyday that I am losing you, or someone else will find you and I lose you forever.

You have finally found the only thing I am truly afraid of, losing you.